where are you???

you p0st happy n exciting entries and p0sts...
while I'm stuck in many unhappy th0ughts....
you laugh and felt 0verjoyed.....
while I'm under a gl0omy cloud...
but 0ne thing 4 sure....
I sent...
You ign0red....

hurmm 0h...hell0 there...w0ndering why everything is gl0omy???....hahaha...
firstly my new friend just dumped me...hurmm...gl0omy isn't it...haha...I d0n't kn0w maybe I'm s0 stupid t0o believe that every0ne are nice pe0ple...fyi I'm n0t the type 0f guys...wh0's mach0-dness overshad0ws his feelings...0r eg0istic that is...I'm quite naive when it c0mes to life..hahaha..(maybe bec0z I d0n't watch KOREAN or tv3 dramas..hurmm).....but I try...haha...and as my BEST FRIEND said that one day my stupidity will make me suffer...(ni tym kt KL tuhh...kal0 ang lupa...)....he f0und his 0ld friends back while I l0st mine...he's the last 0utsider I can truly trust....but I d0n't know...hurmm...

hurmm...g0in away.....

maybe this entry is ab0ut sadness and rem0rse....(while hers are all b0ut happiness and bla bla bla...huhu)...maybe I'm 'bajet' 0r something....but inside it really hurts....It felt like I've been left 0ut....all al0ne with n0body else....maybe he just d0esn't want t0 l0ok int0 problems anym0re...but why you just can't say anything???...I wr0te this with a deep sense 0f rem0rse, guilty, sad and a bit 0f tears...hurmm...s0mehow at your m0st darkest h0ur....the 'flashlight' that you h0ped for just fades away int0 obscurity.....

really????

hurmm...anyway....if you reading this I just want you t0 know that your 'kemalasan' have started t0 take a t0ll on me....I kn0w you might say that I'm selfish and all...but please...I kn0w that you understand me and I know that you kn0w me m0re than any0ne else....(f0r g0d sake...we've been friends 4 s0 long..maybe n0t fulfilling your 'quota' la..)...s0 please I need my 'walking stick' t0 get me 0ff the h0ok....just say s0mething...hurmmm....

p/s....I'm s0rry....

a day t0 forget...

hurrmm.......
why the w0rd f0rget???....haha..ntahla...tp itula yg dirasai ana arini n ari sbl0mya....hadehh....tula rmaja nihh xde experience tp nk wt pndai lak...hurrmmm....anyway...I felt for someone that I've had never meet and never knew...but s0mehow I fall for her...awkward isn't it??...haha...sl0wly I forg0t who I was.....and f0rgot everything that I stand for....l0ve is just an0ther trap....haaa...that's my quote...anyway....it t0ok a toll on my friendship....maybe because the questi0n is so serious that my friend just w0uldn't dare t0 answer...but s0mehow..she enlighten me....she made me l0ok back and think...what the hell I'm d0ing....

hurmm...walkin and thinkin....

and then it all happens.....
my friend suddenly snaps and everything was falling apart....for the first time in my life I felt s0 damn sad and desperate....it's like ch0osing s0meone who I kn0w and appreciates. against s0meone who's new but s0mehow l0vable..(did I just say that..huhu)...and suddenly I remembered......mu ummi's qu0te...

"you can l0se your couple love and still find it.....but if you lose a friend's l0ve,,,it's hard 4 you to go back"

hurrmmm....just the w0rd I need....and I realize that the 0ne that I just met deserved my attenti0n but not my love....and the best friend that I have...it's just a once in a lifetime adventure....

n0...my heart ain't goin' t0 be broken....

but s0mehow she's just sudden2 (haha..manglish jap.) bec0me s0 quiet....and the last time she was quiet it really didn't go well......and s0 my anxiety and worridnes starts t0 control me....and everything was l0oking bleak....and I felt desperate...hurrmm ntahla...mybe you can imagine yourself..huhu....but my ummi's word really struck me...and I felt very-very-very dirty inside me.....maybe it's Allah's way of telling me that I was d0ing something wr0ng......

yupp....you said it...

s0....4 all you f0lks out there....just cherish what you have especially the friends that you have....because couple l0ve can c0me any time....but friendship l0ve s0metimes only 0nce...

t0 my special friend.....I'm s0rry 4 all the times that I've been childish....plzz forgive me and I h0pe that what we have w0uld last until I breath my last,,,,maybe this is 0ur anniversary isn't it...haha...anyway..I now kn0w h0w special you are....

little secret....

haha...bru pg td tgk HBO so trtgk la movie nihh....Little Secrets....
sron0k jugak sbenarnye cte nihh....kinda sweet n quite amusing....ala cte dy sal s0wg gurl yg bukak biznes simpan rahsia budak2...cth mcm kal0 budak kasi pcah gelas 0r pasu mak dy,,,s0 diorg akan dtg la jumpa Emily....(wtak utama..) s0 dy akn simpan la rahsia tuhh......skali dgn bnde yg dpecahkan dgn hnya bayaran 30 sen....haha...

storyline.....
hurmm yg part awal tuhh ana dah cte dah....s0 kita start la sket ngan bab2 sterusnya.....stu ari ad la kluarga bru pndah kt neighbourh0od tuhh n brtemula Emily ngan Phillip...mse tuhh phillip tgh nk smbunyi barang ksayangan ayahnya yg dy pcahkan...pstu Emily p0nn kte dy leh tl0ng smbunyikan....s0 sjak dr itu Phillip nihh p0nn mulala jd best friend dgn Emily.....Phillip akn slalu djemput utk ke rumah Emily utk b0rak2 n wt high tea skali.....hurmm mlas la nk cte sume....haha

ni summarization dy...
Emily Lindstrom, 14, is an aspiring concert violinist; she's spending the summer practicing for a big audition while her girlfriends are at camp. She's also got a thriving neighborhood business: for 50 cents, she'll keep your secret. Her mother is very pregnant, and her parents seem more concerned about the new baby than anything Emily cares about. A new family moves in next door; their son, Philip, 12, becomes Emily's friend. Eventually, the weight of Emily's secrets - her own, the ones she's keeping professionally, and a secret Philip tells her, send her life temporarily crashing down

phillip...best friend emily....

pe special nyerr???....
 hurmmm...cte dy agk sweet haha....(cm gurl lak..hadehh)...tp truly mmg sr0nok....sbb dy kisah kan tntang rahsia....tntunya kita sume ad rhsia, cte ni bgtau yg kdang2 secrets are best t0ld......sbb rhsia yg bruk nihhh lama2 dy bleh jd brah n mr0sakkan diri kita.... iyela....ad stengah bnde it's better t0 keep it t0 ourselves tp kal0 yg tr0k2 tuhh it's better t0 let it out....haaa...luahkan....kal0 tk0t nk luahkan kt public...luahkan kt kwn bek n yg bleh kita prcya...sbb kal0 pendam lama2 p0nn nnti dy berkulat...bila brkulat mulalah nek bakteria...huh..bhayakan ksihatan t0ll...haha....

myself???
hurmmm ana sbenarnye byk jgak secret...jeng3...haha....tp kal0 bruk ana lbih rela share ngan ummi n abi 0r dgn best friend ana.....(haha...wlaupun dy b0ring.huhu)....tp itula ana cba.....sbb ana p0nn ase cm tu ....klau smpan lma2 nnti brkarat...huh...s0 teman2 skelian....kal0 xthan sgt...jgn smpan better luahkan....n kal0 bruk...mnx la ampun dr Allah....insyaallah....

haha...tu bukan emily tp l0yal customer..haha...

p/s...haha....kal0 'makcik' tgh bca nihh...pham2 la yekk nape kdang2 em0...haha...jeng3...

an 0ld friend....

haha....this is an 0ld video but it brings back special memories to me....for your info I have a special friend when I was at jenan....she was very special for me (identity must be kept secret...haha)....anyway in my whole life, she was quite different at the time I know her.....
 haha....I remember those days....when I always got to the class early in the m0rning because she would be the second in class and we would have a 'shy' chat....haha....I call it shy because I was t0o damn scared and dumbf0unded whenever I am going to talk with her....hurrmmm maybe it's typical amir t0 be shy and stuttering when talking to girls...(haha...it's true though..) but somehow I would always have a quite interesting conversation with her....


feelings????
haha...maybe some would wonder do I have any feelings for her....but actually special feeling I only share with my bestest friend only....sorry f0lks maybe when I'm married I would retell the story....haha....but you know I still have a feeling of friendship with her....


anything special???
haha...she was wonderful and frankly she's a pious one....and one thing that amazes me is that her ability t0 assist me and s0mehow enthrall me....she's a p0et lover that's for sure....I remember the time she entered a p0em recitation c0mpetition and she asked h0w's her p0em....hurmmm....haha...I just urmm...haha....but she was an interesting girl t0 be with....


n0w???
hurrmmm.....now???...I d0n't know...maybe we change path and she's just change.....I d0n't know.....haha...but after hearing this s0ng...(fergie's v0ice that is...) I recalled back the first time I heard her v0ice through the ph0ne....(huh...the blushes are back^^).......


an ending.....
hurmmm if s0me of you reading this and maybe got the idea who 'she' was......tell her that th0se days that we've gone through were really special days for me.....and I didn't mean any harm for her....she's still hold a g0od share of my heart....haha....and 4 all you f0lks out there...cherish what you have because 0nce it got away from you,,,you just couldn't st0p remembering and rue that mistake......trust me...haha

a new friend....haha

a sh0cker of the day......
huhu I just d0n't know what t0 say but last night I just have the biggest shock of my life..(not entirely la...haha)...faceb0ok is really a funny place if you thought deeply about it.....hurrmmm it's a place where lovers met one an0ther through IMD..(instant message dating..huhu??) and of course ex lovers met one an0ther....this what suprises me the m0st....

what happened???
hurmmm I met a new friend on faceb0ok and everything was going well and I thought maybe this friend of mine was just an0ther faceb0ok f0lks who just like to meet new people...s0 I thought maybe I must play nice with her...hurrmmm...anyway....suddenly she cracks it....hurrmm....she t0ld me how I resembled her bel0ved friend....and shockingly really identical....

reacti0n???
hadehh.....I really d0n't know what t0 say....but what I do know is that I am really sh0cked but at the same time I felt cm sweet lak....haha....but I really d0n't want her t0 make believe that I was her long lost friend I just want her to believe that I, Amir am his friend...haha....just for the sake of reality that is...

huh....mmg tokh0jot la ana...

hurmmm....
actually there's no pr0blem for me if she wants to make me as her bestfriend or whatever but really the reality of why I was her friend was quite sweet though and t0uching,, this is my third time that I really felt appreciated by someone....(after my family and best friend...huhu).....haha....I really am speechless and just d0n't know what t0 say......

hurrmmm.....maybe this is something special....huh

t0 those who read this......
kdang2 prtemuan nihh kita xjgka tau.....maybe kita akn jumpa sese0rg yg kita benci or mgkin future wife or husband....tp pertemuan mmg xbleh dielakkan.....prtemuan hnya bleh diperbt0l jerr bkan dielakkan....haha s0 teman2 yg baca la bnde nihh just try t0 appreciate what you already have and try t0 accept new things without hesitant....and of course try not to be prejudice..(ni nsihat khas besfwen ana..huhu)....hurrmmm...

tribute t0 my new friend....
if you're reading this just remember that I'm ready and n0t worried bout being ur friend.....I'm s0rry if ever I hurt y0ur feeling I just want you t0 know that 0nce you're my friend, you're always be one...(ayt bestfwen ana gak...maap mkcik yekk..huhu)......

here's 4 you...haha

faceb0ok...a special place...

haha....

fb nihh stu tmpat yg plik kan....mcm2 0wg kita leh jumpa n mcm2 0wg kita leh gd0h....tp ana xm0la nk cte bab2 gad0h nihh...haha...(byk la jgak...huhu)....ana nk cte sket tntang sahabat fb...

hurrmmm....

as always dlm fb nihh mcm2 0wg kita leh jumpa....n ana p0n ada la jumpa s0wg hamba Allah nihh....pe special ek??...ntahla tp tiap kali jerrr ana on9 msti tringat dy so kita ceking la kt fb dy haha...urmm p0st islamik yg mnyent0h......s0 ana jdikan la acc0unt dy sbgai tmpat inspirasi ana...haha...sr0nok gak bila kita jumpa kwn bru...

now everyone can meet...haha

feelings???

ntahla....ase sr0nok lak bila tgk dy k0men or like2 status.....mks0dnye ad jgak la owg baca status pkcik tua nihh...haha...ala biasa la sume 0wg kn bila dah like tu sr0nok la....s0 ana ponn xtrkecuali...hurrmmm...susah sbenarnye nk cte tp tu la....mybe Allah tlah prtemukan dgn s0wg kwn bru...Alhamdulillah I'm blessed with so many g0od friends and some few bestfriend and a bestest best friend...(huh corrupt english lak...hadehh) 

trima kasih yekk cik mark....haha

advice......

wlaupun kita mampu bertemu ngan plbagai 0wg dlm dunia maya nihh tp kita kne ingat n brhati2.....tk0t2 kita nihh trbabas n trtipu s0 berkwn tu xpe...tp jgn trlalu prcya....only believe those you can believe not those you have to.......insyaallah....

a little something 4 you!!!!

this is one of my favourite s0ngs!!!
wlaupun ia agak ke arah gwang2 sket...huhu tp it's still a sweet song...hurrmm lgu nihh spesel la jgak n tmpat prtama ana dgr lgu nihh adalah dr corong suara tesc0...the moment I heard it, I felt in love...haha...ana nihh sntimental sket bab2 lgu so kebanyakkan mmg ad mkna la....lgu nihh p0nn ad gak tp pnjang lak anal0gi dy...haha....anyway.....plain white T's is a band that I really love and byk jgak ana cba tgk2 n gunakan dlm usrah...haha...sr0nok n mmg dgr tuhh ase urrmm sr0nok lahhh...haha..

what it reminded me off????
haha susah nk kata.....tp mmg sron0k la....n it reminded me of my best friend....hurrrmmm (bkan bab2 i love you la...hadehhh)....tp ntahla cm tu la asenye....try k0wg dgr n cbe la feeling sndirik....kal0 xbleh tuhh....fkir2 la yekk....haha...

my favourite band...the t's

if you're reading this....I just want to know how I appreciate you....thanx 4 all thse years!!!....

(short jgak entry nihhh...haha)